Keelie Comma

For over a decade, we have shared a life - a life that I cherish. I love our marriage, our children and our home. Most especially, I delight in your presence.

Sometimes I look around this crazed, spinning world and wonder how a child can hope to survive. Yet, when I look at the children borne to our care, I hope they thrive. Survive vs. Thrive? Such a divergence is not a divergence of my perspective. Rather, it is an honest evaluation of the mother of our children. I know she is exceptional. Our children will one day look back with wonder at their beloved mother and rightly so. They will know how exceptional you are and how lucky they were.

Such a woman you are, inspiring generations!
 

Even so...

Keelie Comma

Contrast

In the deepest winter,

you arrive smiling and contrast  my

Cold.

Enchantments are broken and

Dripping from the roof, melt the

ice is breaking and sunshines

fall on the house, cold

from the Marches and the Februarys

My frigid is retreating from

You, reverse the solstice and conquer

my ice, my house, my heart.

Before you, I am snow

in the

Winter

Sun.

Keelie Comma

Keelie,

Well, I have nothing
I have no one
I've been so quickly set free
and I love nothing
I love no one
Are words that you whisper in my mind, to someone
I don't know
to someone I don't know
to someone

So walk with me
on this new spring morning
I'll walk you 'till your fears are none
I'm a new baby weeping
I'm the flower you're keeping
that without love will wilt and die

I need your life in my life
need your life in my life
need your life

so come back to me
my darling
come back to me
my darling

I'd do anything to be at your side
I'd be anyone to be at your side
I need your life in my life
need your light in my life
need your light

- Noah and the Whale
"I Have Nothing"

Keelie Comma

My Keelie,

You are amazing embodied. How you can be so much, so easily astounds me.

I work hard to provide for our little family. Yet, all the while I am doing it, I know you could do it so much better. But, even if you were the primary financial source for our family, I can think of no greater parent. There has never been a better, more loving mother.

There is so much grace and life within you. I bask in your presence. I stand in awe of the reality I find myself in: that one so glorious glides beautiful through my constant thoughts.

You are a dream to me still.

Keelie Comma

When you told me, I went back to bed, back to sleep and the elusive reality patiently awaited my full attention. When I took my morning shower, I reviewed the to-do list in my head and thought about the taste of coffee. Every once in a while, that day, what you told me would creep back in my head and remind me that things are often new. But, my day continued.

After lunch, I sat back at my desk and what you told me returned to my mind, and this time it stuck. I got up from my desk and walked downstairs, I lay down on the couch and watched my hands tremble.

I know all the reasons my hand trembled. I know that what you told me means I am no longer young. I know that what you told me means we are no longer two. I know that what you told means everything will be different from now on. I know that the world has transformed. I know why my hands tremble.

The trembling passed thought, and the reality of what you told sunk deeper... deeper than my hands. The reality sank into my heart. I thought about baseball games and small cries in the night. I thought about the smiles of a tiny person illuminating our home and our lives.

I thought about extension, my love. I thought about all that these three years have meant to me. I thought of how wonderful and beautiful this has all been. I realized that now, we have given all of that to the world.

Keelie, when we leave this world behind, we will leave our unity and communion behind as well in the form of our child.

What you told me has filled me with so much joy.