Carys Comma

Carys, 

 My dad was great. I mean he was great within his circumstances. He raised three boys without much help, and did so while having no idea what he was doing. I can relate. I have no idea what I am doing. 

My parents divorced when I was young. I think that I was five years old. It is all fading - the timeline. When I was seven, my mother was murdered. 

My dad had to deal with all of that. Yikes. 

Dad knew no other way to deal with things other than hard work. He worked himself to the bone when I was young. Thank god for my grandmother. She was able to keep us boys fed and clothed while dad was out working manual labor fourteen hours a day - killing himself. 

He didn't know what else to do. Working was all he knew. I imagine the work helped with the stress of dealing with all that his boys were struggling with. He provided. He kept us alive. Beyond provision, he struggled to provide. 

And I understand that now. 

I understand how tempting it is to see parenting as an economic challenge. Parents are so acutely aware of the reality of deprivation - we have to keep the kids alive! But, children need so much more. They need 

grace

love

relationship

security

hope

support

and so much more. 

When I look at you, when I talk to you, I see how much I have parented like my father. 

But, he was a great dad... within his circumstances. I can only hope to be such. 

I should like to be better. So would my dad.