Compendium (return)


Here, you will find – exclusively – my humble compendium of letters. These are the correspondence I have maintained with my family. I submit them to your review for reasons I do not understand.

Forgive such musings as here follow. They are merely awkward attempts to understand a reality which eludes language. And, now they are yours.

5.12.2019

Carys Comma



I'm here. I've got you. That is what I whisper as I hold you in our small circle of light.

The shadows outside the circle are vague. They dart and weave through darkness.

We hear them out there. They whisper and hiss. Is it language they use, or is it just the guttural sounds of predation?

I can sense your tenseness, your concern, as we grip each other and will the darkness away. But, the darkness persists, the shadows harry our circle. 

You are crying now. What is it?

I don't know. Just hold on.

But, I soon sense the rising intensity of the darkness - the danger.

Suddenly, a streak of darkness darts into the light. It envelops you and yanks you away. I try to grip harder and so do you. But, the darkness overcomes us, pulling you away. I hear your scream fading into the darkness.

I go to chase you, but stop at the edge of the light. I look all around, panicked. Desperation is filling my mind. My sanity is losing its hinges. I feel compelled to run headlong into the dark. I feel compelled to search for you, find you, and bring you back to this safety, to this circle.

Yet, I remain. I do not run into the darkness. I do not brave the wild shadows.

Instead, I sit. I begin to pray.

From time to time, I stand and look all around as far as I can see. I do this over and over. I sit and pray, then stand up and peer all around through the darkness. I will continue to do this and I do not know how long.

But, I hope.

I hope that one day I will see, somewhere in the dark, a small circle of light bravely piercing through.

... 


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