Carys Comma

My Daughter,

I have always been taught that Christ died and then he rose from the dead. Because he has risen, we have hope.

But what is hope? news that people can get out of their graves seems more scary than hopeful. What is this hope?

AS far as I can tell, hope is something that is stronger than the wishful thinking of delusional religious people. Hope is stranger and more rigorous than the shameless optimism of the naïve. Hope is transcendent. It is unreal. It is the faith we maintain in the divine beauty found only in that which we have not yet experienced.

But, do I really believe that Jesus got up out of the ground and that he rose from the dead? Do I believe all these silly Bible stories about how everything is to be made right one day?

I do. I believe in the unbelievable. I believe in the possibility of the impossible and unreality of the real. I am a no-good fool.

Such is the plight of faith.

My daughter, don't pursue faith to find answers, pursue faith to lose answers. Don't explore faith to find God. He is found whenever he chooses to be. Don't look to faith to give you a comfortable spirituality or simple explanations that solve your confusions. Faith in Jesus is not the stuff of sitcoms where it is all wrapped up at the end of a half hour with a final punch line. It is also not for the sensible, wholesome caretakers of religiosity. The Jesus faith is for the restless refugees. It is for those of us that realize the Emperor is naked. It is for the confounded and dissatisfied victims of our own oppressions.

I hope you never look to me for the answers, since I have so few. But, I do have a great love for you and I think we might find some answers in there.

I hope you never know a God who is spiteful and filled with hate (as I have), but I do hope that you are honest enough to see that spiteful God is real.

I hope you never grieve at the loss of your faith, but I know you will and I know those tears are the seeds of truth.

I hope you never find faith, my daughter, and in not finding it, I hope you find it more than I have.


Dada