Caedmon Comma

My son,

You and your sister are so amazing. Daily, I am filled with unspeakable shame that such glories are wasted on me.

Yes, I think about myself.

I know it is an awful self-centered thing to do. But, I look at your lovely life and I can't help but wonder how much better your life would be with a father that was a better provider, a better example, and a better man.

I wish I could tell you that I will give you all of me, though that is limited. No, long ago I realized I would rather not do a thing than fail at something I did. So, I'll probably shirk my responsibilities. I'll probably never open myself up to you.

I'll probably be my own saboteur.

How pathetic.

Be better. If there is one prayer I want answered, it is that you would be better. I pray you would surpass my half-assed bumbling through a life in which I have always been overmatched.

Dada