Caedmon Comma

My Son,

I have no emotional connection to you.

I realized this today as I was driving back from a Christmas Eve service. There were carols, candles, and so much talk of peace.

On the road home, the road was so empty and the snow was just white enough, that I turned my headlights off and drove with the darkness, through the darkness.

When you were just born, I had such a hard time making a connection to you. I thought to myself that I would have more of a connection one day when you were more able to interact and communicate.

One day has become two years.

I want to be able to embrace you and openly weep for the joy that you give me, the glory. I want to be able to express the absolute fire you ignite within my soul.

But I can't. I feel like this may have robbed you of so much.

I do love you. You're amazing. You're the truth that illuminates my night. I just haven't quite figured out a way to express that.



Dada