My Child Comma

I haven't wrote to you in some time. There's a reason - I haven't liked you much lately. Since I last wrote you, I have had trouble sleeping, focusing and I have cycled through some rare emotions.

Everyone tells me how wonderful it is to be a father and that parenthood changes and defines a persons life and reality. They're probably right, but the changes aren't always easy. In recent weeks financial stresses, relational insecurities, and professional frustrations have loomed large. I have found myself awake in the night, unable to sleep and trying not to think of you.

I feel like a damned fool for saying it, but you're going to arrive at a bad time. And I can't help but resent you for it.

It's not your fault, I know. And we'll make it just fine, I know.

But, when the problems are mine, why is it that I flee from you?